Tell me who your friends are…


Jim Rohn said that you are the average of the five people you hang out with the most. Best known for his personal rags-to-riches story and 40 years of personal development seminars, founded on well-crafted philosophy and psychology of living, when a person like that says something, the rest of us better listen.

If you want to amuse yourself, put pen to paper and write down the names and qualities of the five people you hang out with the most and take the average. How do you like it? You represent the average of all that. Is it time to re-arrange your friends’ list? No need to wonder if your grandmother knew Jim Rohn just because she told you, “Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are.” It’s more likely that Jim listened to his grandmother on the account of which he became a force for transformation, and very wealthy at that.

In her very influential book The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron warns all of us that creativity is the electricity of life and a God-given gift, a responsibility which if left unrealized, leaves us feeling unfulfilled, jealous of others, and generally stuck with flat lives. You may wonder what do an artist, an entrepreneur, a housewife, a teacher, an engineer, or a barista have in common, and conclude, like most of us, that they have nothing in common. Like most, you will be wrong. Creativity is what we all have in common as we are the very expression of creativity – from the moment of our conception and even before. We need creativity in every aspect of our lives, from solving problems, to writing a play, to painting a room, to starting and running a business, to cooking dinner. If we approach life like a series of tasks on a to-do list, we end up waiting in line at the pharmacy for the next re-fill of antidepressants.

And we all have friends. Even the introverted types like me, who prefer the company of books and my dog. Friends either help or hinder our creative expression. I young lady came to see me and told me once in all seriousness “No one wants me to succeed!” I was shocked and saddened to hear this. I disagreed, “You just have not yet met the people who will want you to succeed.”

Surround yourself with friends that in some way inspire your creativity, stimulate your self-expression, and support you in whatever way they can on your journey of life. At the same time, you must show up as this kind of a friend too. You are needed in realizing others’ dreams too. Without your heartfelt participation, someone else’s life will be flat. Without your honest self-expression, a piece of the mystery of the Universe will have to be left unrealized. Without your willingness to rise above your fears and limitations, the only faith that awaits you is the well-worn out spot on your couch… and then you die.

Where would you like to start today? What area of your life needs a creative infusion? What friendships do you need to cultivate? Who are you as a friend? Tomorrow does not have to look and feel like yesterday.

Choose your friends wisely. And surround yourself with people who care to see you succeed. Please, include me in your support network and call me when you want to sort things out, understand the past, plan the future, and entertain conundrums about life, relationships, your purpose.

On a different note, my little doggie Lulu has inspired a lot of interesting changes to my life since I got her three months ago. Join us on our adventures and get a chuckle out of what we do by following our blog at

You can find me and my life and health coaching services at

Thank you for reading. Feel free to send me a note, make a comment, and ask questions. I love conversations!


One comment

  1. Being an ambivert, I am a walking contradiction. I don’t walk up to complete strangers, in public places, and ask to share a table or bench; yet, if someone asks that of me, I ‘m more than glad to have them sit down. As for day to day stuff, although I am given to wandering, when extended school breaks and summers off present themselves, I throw myself into whatever tasks present THEMSELVES at work, or in the community, during the academic year. Having been brought up to live fully, both in the moment and in planning, I view these as parts of a beautiful whole.


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