Life Intelligence: You Can Do Better

Any time is a good time to change your life. A new year may have a nice ring to it, but we know how that went in 2020. It revealed the fault lines of our resilience, preparedness, discipline, and survival skills. Perhaps, we’ve softened up and got spoiled with conveniences and comfort, forgetting the challenges passed generations endured so we can afford the luxury of feeling sorry for ourselves when we don’t get what we want.

Consider these three mindset shifts for your 2021 and beyond.

Act as if you are the subject of a documentary about you. Pretend a film crew follows you around and documents your every step. What do you think people watching the movie will say about you? Would you want your children to see it? If you want to improve your life, don’t just talk and think about it. Do it. Don’t dabble in self-improvement. Write down your goals and get busy doing what you need to do to get there. Track your progress so you know where you’ve been and how far you have to go. If you don’t write things down, you are not likely to ever do them. If you don’t do what you have to do to get to where you have to go, you will feel like a loser. You won’t like yourself. You will complain and blame. No one likes a complainer and a blamer.

Stop seeking comfort. Give up on the idea that the world is fair, that fairness means comfort, ease, and satisfaction. Fairness means that you have an equal opportunity as everyone else to do with yourself what you want to. Seeking comfort will get you bored and complacent, sitting on a couch and hating the world. We’ve evolved to solve problems, struggle with challenges, be active seekers, makers, and creators. We must seek lessons and work on difficult tasks to feel alive, engaged, and happy. We’ve evolved from hunters and gatherers who battled the elements, learned to survive, build shelter, cooperate, find food, and raise their children amid uncertainty and danger. The same reward mechanisms are encoded in our DNA. By doing difficult things, we grow. We find fulfillment and purpose. Working hard toward something challenging is uncomfortable, but you’ll have a better day applying yourself and accomplishing something. You will become a better person and end up better off.

Just show up no matter what. Discipline helps you get things done, even when you don’t like doing them. Just do something. Put one foot in front of the other on the path to your goal. Lose one pound. Write one page. Walk one mile. Even if you feel lazy. Just show up. If you wait to feel like it, for a better day, for the right environment, you will work out twice a year and never start your book, or build that fence, or learn that skill. The pros don’t fear or avoid inner resistance. They show up anyway because they know that consistency produces results and mastery. To get good at something, you put in the time and watch yourself suck at it for most of it until you look back and realize how much progress you’ve made after all.

Be the hero of your life, not the loser in it.
Here’s to a better 2021!

Valentina Petrova has been helping people with life, health, relationships, financial, career, professional, and business challenges since 2015. She has a Master’s in Psychology and is a certified life coach and certified mediator. You can reach her at She does not take insurance.


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